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Sex after the delivery
July 31, 2012
If the birth of the new person is always connected with the lightest and joyful emotions, then during recovery after the delivery young mother should endure also less positive moments. In the course of daily infinite cares and constant chronic fatigue the woman can lose interest in sex life practically. And it directly touches also men who not always understand how to recover former intimate relations and to provide harmonious and regular sex after the delivery.
Sex after the delivery: when to begin?
As a rule, the doctor who observes the woman after patrimonial process during her extract from a maternity home advises it not to have sex about one and a half month. But similar dogmas are adjusted in each separate family now. Some couples practice sex at once after at the woman allocations stop. And here it is after the delivery difficult to other couples to adjust sex life even after complete physical recovery of young mother.
Very often the woman does not even think of when it is possible to have sex after the delivery. Many women, being wholly given to cares of the kid, feel noticeable weakening of sexual desire to the partner. The similar state can not disappear even throughout a long time – half a year, year. According to some researches, many women note the fact that with the birth of the child not only the sexual aspect of life ceased to interest them, but even a certain disgust for sex appeared. Therefore, the careful man has to watch fixedly how his partner to treat sex life and, if necessary, to take a waiting attitude.
Doctors strongly recommend at least some time to abstain from the sexual relations after the delivery. The matter is that if sex life will begin too early, before recovery of an organism after the delivery, then the probability of development of inflammatory processes and even bleedings sharply increases. If the first sex after the delivery happens prematurely, then natural process of recovery can be broken. Full return of a mucous membrane of a uterus to a puerperal state happens only approximately in six weeks after the delivery. In the course of sexual intercourse the uterus is reduced that promotes development of bleeding if the mucous membrane was recovered not completely.
As temporary alternative to usual sex it is possible to consider oral and proctal sex after the delivery. It is important that such sexual contacts do not affect a condition of a uterus, but at the same time such proximity sometimes significantly helps to improve the relations between spouses.
How the relation to sex after the delivery changes?
Many various factors exert impact on features of puerperal sex life. The most important point is a health of the woman who just gave birth to the kid. After difficult delivery it could have seams, morbidity. There is a psychological factor: in particular, it is important to young mother to understand that she quite successfully copes with the everyday duties and surely looks after the child. Also the emotional proximity between partners, and existence at least of rather full-fledged dream at the woman, and successful breastfeeding is important. Formation of all these moments comes in the first month after return from maternity hospital therefore so difficult changes can exert a direct impact on desire of the woman to have sex.
Very often the woman consciously delays the moment of return to usual sexual life longer period, than it is required for physical recovery. Owing to so serious changes in way of life the woman has some psychological problems connected both with emotional experiences and with existence of certain disturbances in generative organs. At some young mothers the long time exists a certain discomfort in the field of generative organs in connection with stitches which were put at the time of delivery. Feeling a little uncomfortablly, the woman begins to feel fear concerning probable pain during sexual intercourse. Besides, in a puerperal period the woman, as a rule, does not feel confident in connection with changes of own body on which recovery time is also required. Also constant fatigue, displays of a puerperal depression can interfere with return to sexual life.
First sexual contact after the delivery
Each young mother has to understand that during the first puerperal sexual contact she can test a certain morbidity. The matter is that sensitivity of generative organs during this period is increased, and pain can arise even from easy contacts. After the delivery often dryness of a vagina turns out to be consequence of serious hormonal changes. Besides, insufficient moistening turns out to be consequence of psychological obstacles, too short time spent on a prelude. Some women note that they feel pain at sexual contact only in certain poses. Therefore, some time it is better not to practice such uncomfortable poses in general.
Very often the woman who endured difficult delivery and got injured patrimonial ways owing to high sensitivity of area of generative organs can irresponsibly resist penetration of the partner. Therefore in this case a lot of things depend on endurance and tranquility of the man. It is impossible to hurry at all: for the first sexual puerperal contact it is the best of all to choose that pose at which penetration does not bring pain. Both partners have to understand accurately that at the first sexual contact it is after the delivery difficult to reach an accordion at once. If there are certain difficulties, the woman complains of emergence of severe pain or blood from not enough begun to live seams is emitted, attempts should be postponed to some time. But if the woman who put stitches on area of a crotch continues to feel pain and at the subsequent sexual contacts, she should get advice of the doctor. It is quite possible that seams are dragged too strongly away, and the help of the specialist is required.
What disturbs the woman after the delivery?
The first sexual contact after the delivery can cause in young mother some fears in connection with certain moments which disturb her. Due to the reduction of amount of hormone of estrogen in an organism the amount of greasing which is emitted in a vagina considerably decreases. Dryness of a vagina at those women at whom periods renew much later as the producing greasing is directly connected with resuming of a full-fledged monthly cycle is most strongly expressed.
Vital issue practically for each woman are external changes in a figure. After the delivery forms become others – more roundish. Existence of excess weight disturbs the woman, she begins to think of own unattractiveness for the husband. In certain cases the problem of the underestimated self-assessment can be particularly acute so that as a result young mother cannot begin intimate life, having complexes concerning the appearance. And here it is important that the partner surely convinced the wife of that, as now she is not less beautiful and desired. At the same time at the correct approach to food young mother in daily efforts and loadings will be able quickly to lose the kilograms gained during pregnancy and to return to former proportions. As for sports activities to begin to train it is possible from first weeks, however exercises have to be most sparing.
After the child's birth some women note that feelings from contacts to a breast at them very strongly changed. Often it happens that young mother feels essential discomfort from such touches and, as a result, avoids them. Besides, during feeding also the form, and also outward of a breast somewhat changes. It can also disturb the woman who thinks of sex after the delivery. In the course of sexual intercourse from a breast milk can sometimes be emitted. In it there is nothing terrible, but those women who are disturbed by such phenomenon can just not take off a bra with special inserts.
Sex after the delivery: psychological aspects
As a rule, the women who recently became mothers are disturbed not only by a question of that through how many after the delivery it is possible to have sex, but also how to find former pleasure and pleasure.
After the kid at last was born, the inner world of the woman cardinally changes. In her thoughts, feelings and plans the child dominates. Active release of hormone prolactin "adjusts" an organism on feeding of the child and care of it. Therefore the laws of nature provide lack of the subsequent reproduction until the little person needs constant care. Therefore, and the sexual inclination at young mother at first considerably decreases.
If in a family sincere and trusting relationships between spouses are accepted, then any problem can be overcome over time. The main thing – to show patience and to try not to force events. It is important that the woman frankly shared own experiences and fears with the man, without becoming reserved. About all changes of physical character which happened to the woman recently the husband has to hear from her. The young father is obliged to show a maximum of a step and caress in relation to the spouse, to try to help her with the kid.
At some young mothers sex after the delivery turns into a peculiar debt, a matrimonial duty. It is extremely wrong approach as sex life will be harmonious only if it gives joy to both.
The explicit unwillingness of the husband at last to renew sex life becomes one more problem point in some families. Even on the expiration of all terms recommended by doctors it avoids sex. The woman suffers from the similar relation, building own unfavourable reasons of such behavior of the partner. In this case it is extremely important to carry out serious and confidential conversation to try to understand, than such act is motivated. Very often the man cannot just accept change in the wife's life: it seems to it that the child became the center of the world for young mother, and she has no time for the husband at all. The young father, as well as mother, needs certain time to adapt to new way of life, to return "to normal". Important carefully, slowly to overpersuade the man, to together make the decision that sex life is necessary for both partners and whenever possible to try to give gradually an intima of new paints. But if independently it is not possible to solve a problem, the help of the psychotherapist or sexologist will be not superfluous.
What it is necessary to remember?
Even if the menstrual cycle at newly made mother did not renew, having sex, she has to consider all questions of contraception surely. Mother who nurses the child has to remember that the so-called method of a lactic amenorrhea is applicable only at observance of a number of additional conditions. So, the kid has to eat on demand, not receive additional food and drink, intervals between applying to a breast should not exceed 4 hours. Such method is applicable only until the child was not six months old.
Most often when resuming sex life after the delivery spouses use spermitsida, condoms, the woman after consultation with the doctor can also put an intrauterine spiral. If necessary it is possible to use during sex lubricants – special greasings.
To strengthen vagina muscles, it is recommended to women from the first days after the delivery to carry out so-called Kegel's exercise. For this purpose muscles of a vagina need to be reduced strongly by several seconds then – completely to relax. Such simple exercise can be carried out several times for day.
Young parents should think also of when they are able to have sex: the child a long time for days sleeps superficially and can wake up at any time. Therefore, you should not wait for night or evening: for intim it is necessary to use any suitable time now.
At last, it is not necessary to worry that on the expiration of several months certain problems nevertheless remain: statistically, most of nursing mothers claim that they could only conduct full-fledged intimate life approximately in a year after the birth of the baby. Therefore it is extremely important "to listen" attentively to own organism and it is obligatory to keep the relations in a family confidential and positive.
Section: Childbirth and puerperal period